


The Amazing True Story of Two Homicidal Cars (?!) In Love

by Missy



Category: Christine - Stephen King, From a Buick 8 - Stephen King
Genre: Car Sex, Crack, Humor, LITERALLY, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-17
Updated: 2012-02-17
Packaged: 2017-10-31 08:27:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/342002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christine thinks she might have found the perfect man - er, car.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Amazing True Story of Two Homicidal Cars (?!) In Love

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Удивительная история настоящей любви двух смертельно опасных машин](https://archiveofourown.org/works/955462) by [Herber_baby17](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Herber_baby17/pseuds/Herber_baby17)



> Written for Porn Battle: Prompt: Crossover, Christine - Stephen King/From a Buick 8 - Stephen King, Christine/Buick 8,mischief

It was a once-in-a-million chance; evil car meets good car on a police garage in.   
Maybe they noticed their utter universal polarity – maybe they figured out one of them wasn’t a car at all; nah, most likely it was the shine of chrome hitches and flashy headlights (Christine had some great ones, thank you.). 

She opened up the lines of communication, though she herself had no love for anything, much less cars. When you’re stuck in a storage locker freezing your sun bonnet off, you would start talking philosophy to a blade of grass.

“BEEP?” Christine asked.

Nothing. Did he speak English? She tried a little Spanish.

“BEEE BEEP.”

Nope.

“Beeeep?”

A purple flash of light produced a spare tire.

Was he saying she was fat?! How rude! 

“BEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEP BEEP!”

A bright purple flash of light produced a plant-like object that made a high-pitched sound . Aww…that warmed her up. Maybe they could hold handles if he was nice.

“Beep beep?”

Another flash produced what looked like a bouquet of flowers…which were leaking slime.

Flowers?! For her! How sweet. It was followed by a can of what looked like oil. All right. This guy can totally rear-end her gasshole if he wants. Christine revs her engine and pulls herself around, her trunk facing his hood. She revved back and forth, enticing her into mating.

It didn’t do anything. Damn it. Did she have to dance for him? She rubbed back and forth, waving her fins, trying to entice him. This went on and on, Christine’s engine growing hotter and hotter, until her horn blatted aloud once and she overheated, quivering from fin to headlight. Smoking, her headlights slowly powered down. She’d come without the guy even saying anything to her! What would it be like when they hooked exhaust pipes?

Suddenly the garage door peeled open, and she shut herself off. One of the cops on duty gave her a disapproving but fond look, then wheeled her back to the proper spot. “Oh, Christine….” If cars could pout, Christine would have. “That dang thing gets weirder every time,” he muttered, walking away from the scene.

Christine’s headlights flashed maliciously as the cop disappeared. If he tried to get between her and Big Blue, she’s start an ugly ruckus. Oh yes, they would be together again, exhaust pipe to exhaust pipe…


End file.
